Don't worry

I've pondered a lot about certain things,
Things that might worry people.
Don't worry, people.

A book called, "The Anatomy of Suicide" taught me,
Every act of suicide starts with a desire to act violently towards someone else,
Then that desire turns inward.

You get that.
You're frustrated that nobody cares, nobody understands, and you hate them.
You want to hurt them.

It's not them.
It must be you, other people are different, maybe you're the problem.
So you hurt yourself.

Emotionally?
Physically?
Spiritually.

Maybe you've heard that it's about loneliness.
It's not about loneliness.
The conversations in your head never leave you alone.

They say the definition of insanity is doing that same thing over and expecting a different result.
Same thoughts, same doubts, same conversations, same mistakes, same fears, same me.
For 25 years, same actions, same results.

It's insanity.

I'm tired.
I'm tired of being tired and not being able to sleep.
Sleep is an escape.

Hope is to escape.
Not to be someone else or be somewhere different,
We've tried that and it doesn't work.

We want to escape and not be anyone or anything.
We're tired.
Of ourselves.

Maybe that was His secret?
"I am that I am", the Great Jehovah.
The only One to figure it out.

The only One to accept the truth.
The rest of us attempt to be someone else or hide from who we are,
That's insanity.

We run from who we can never escape,
We cover up the eternal foundation of ourselves,
We try to change the unalterable.

The semitic structure reveals a pronoun and a conjugated verb,
He said it simply.

"I am, me".

I'm not, yet.